Don’t Be A D**k

I have, over the course of my fairly long and eventful career thus far, been incredibly lucky to have worked alongside some amazing colleagues – people who have inspired me to improve my own practice and from whom I have learned so many professional strategies and received so much personal guidance. But I have also worked with some d**ks. Some absolutely massive, whopping, proper, couldn’t-be-much-more-of-a-one-even-if-they-tried d**ks. I did, to be honest, consider choosing another term for these people before I decided to write this blog, something a little more befitting of the educational sphere about which I tend to pontificate quite a lot, but, alas, d**k really does seem to be the most appropriate description that I can think of when I reflect upon the impression that they made on me. It could be, of course, that one or two of my colleagues over the years would quite reasonably in their minds suggest that I also fall into this category, such is the tangled web of diverse human relationships that underpin our daily professional activities, so I proceed very much with the disclaimer that this is a piece of writing that is solely rooted solidly in my own opinion.

 

No one, I suspect, either sets out to be a d**k or, once this status has been achieved, sits down to relax at the end of a long day and rejoices in the splendour of having filled another few hours with yet more spectacular d**kery of the kind that causes a great deal of upset to the people that they spend their daytimes with, it probably just sort of happens without you really realising it, like the onset of those horrible and clearly unnecessary long hairs that protrude from your ears and your nasal cavities once you reach a certain age. Despite this seemingly invisible process, however, my experience is that everywhere that I have worked has contained at least one complete d**k.

 

If a guidebook about How Not To Be A Dick In The Workplace existed I would argue that the first chapter would be all about telling the truth. Being honest with your colleagues and ensuring that both your communication and your actions are transparent are key to people trusting you and being happy to work alongside you, in my opinion. This is especially important if you are in a leadership position. I understand, of course, that leaders aren’t obliged to forward the minutes of every meeting or the details of every discussion to everyone in their team, but it’s vital that key messages are provided at timely moments so that all colleagues can see that progress towards agreed goals are going to be met. Keeping your word about something that you have promised to do is also absolutely vital; never, ever go back on an agreement, whether it was formalised in some way or simply an unwritten promise between two people, unless to not do this would cause huge amounts of distress to others. I accept that plans can change, but there must always be a considered argument, articulated correctly, behind any deviation of course. Don’t just suddenly do an unexpected U-turn because it suits your own needs and expect everyone else to be ok with this. Relationships matter in all workplaces, and whilst it’s certainly not essential for a leader to be friends with their colleagues they really shouldn’t not care at all if everyone thinks that they’re a d**k because they’re clearly acting like one. Leaders need to be strong enough to make decisions that they know will often be unpopular or which may even lead to some upset in their organisation, such is the nature of life at the top, but there is a world of difference between steering teams through difficult times by making choices that fit with a bigger picture and not giving a monkey’s that you have knowingly caused some damage to somebody because you did or said something that worked solely for your agenda and wasn’t in the best interests of everyone else who you work alongside. Top tip, readers: it is possible to lead a difficult conversation with a colleague and not act like a d**k at the same time. Great leadership, in many ways, is about building effective teams, not destroying them as you seek personal glory by acting or trying to look tough, and Sir Alex Ferguson, one of the most successful leaders of recent times in footballing terms, makes a really important comment about this aspect of managing the relational transactions of an organisation well in his book Leading: “When a former player, who is new to management, asks me for advice, I usually tell him not to seek confrontation. Whenever you show up in a new role, it will not be long before you have to face trouble and a clash over something. There is nothing to be gained by stirring it up yourself. Trouble will find you quick enough.” And when trouble does find you, I would add, it will really help you if the last time you worked with someone on something they didn’t end up thinking that you were a d**k.

 

Chapter two of the book that no one has ever written but which I am somewhat weirdly referring to quite a lot during this blog is about not forgetting where you come from. Or at least it is to me. I was born and raised in Blyth, in north east England, and during my time there if ever anyone was to talk loudly about how much better they were than everyone else or to act as if they were in any way superior to others then they would be knocked, quite literally on occasions, back down to earth very quickly indeed. This training has stayed with me all of my life and especially during my professional career as both a teacher and a leader of schools. Essentially, I believe that your job title is just that, it describes what you do and nothing else. Some people I have worked with, however, seem to view what they do as a position of superiority over others, as if they were born into that position and are now able to rule over their serfs because their genes dictate that this is how things must be. If you are a leader in any kind of organisation, and particularly if rather than believing that you were born as a member of some kind of ruling class you have worked your way up to the top over a period of time, there is nothing worse than suddenly forgetting what things were like lower down in the professional hierarchy. Reclining on a deck chair in an ivory tower and barking out commands in between sips of expensive coffee whilst the wellbeing of those toiling away underneath you is ignored is probably not going to inspire them to go the extra mile for the organisation and, in fact, is much more likely to make them think of you as more of d**k than someone who has always been a d**k. Seriously, actually choosing to be a d**k because you can is, understandably, I would suggest, an even greater sin than having been one all your life.

 

To a great extent, being an effective leader is about understanding the impact that your words and actions will have on those around you. Examples of being a d**k in this regard are things such as not knowing the names of the people who work alongside you, not acknowledging outstanding practice when it happens or not really caring too much if you upset others because your bank balance is pretty healthy and you’ve got lovely plans for the weekend ahead. Great leaders, obviously, aren’t d**ks and are very much invested not only in the organisations that they lead but also in the people who make the organisations successful, and they also know that effective relationships are at the heart of everything that works well; this means ensuring that during both good and bad times communication is carefully considered and actions are taken with an understanding that impact must always be managed well. Someone who really is a brilliant leader, Steve Munby, writes the following essential guidance in his book Imperfect Leadership for anyone who, perhaps, needs a little reminder about the importance of leading by example at all times: “Because of our role, we have a disproportionate influence on those we lead… however we are behaving reverberates through the workplace.” You set the tone as a leader and people are watching you all the time; it is really important, therefore, not to be a d**k, wherever possible.

 

The thing about organisations with leaders who are acting like d**ks is that after a while everyone else starts to also act like d**ks because they think that this is how you’re meant to behave in this place if you want to be successful. Suddenly, a d**k tipping point is reached and you’ve got more d**ks than non-d**ks in the place. This is, clearly, not a particularly pleasant place to be when this happens. What is worse, however, is that you can almost always also guarantee that such organisations spend a considerable amount of time spewing out PR about their values and sending their leaders on expensive courses where well-heeled consultants talk about ethical behaviour whilst everyone in the audience nods along in absolute denial about how they conduct themselves in front of their colleagues on a daily basis. Being a d**k is contagious and especially if it comes from the very top of the organisation. The trouble is, of course, that if the person who is in charge is a d**k then they are unlikely to either notice or mind too much if everyone else also acts this way. But what is really important, I should add, is that if a leader at the top isn’t a d**k but those below them start to behave in this manner then they’ve got to intervene and do something; if you just sit there and accept that this is just the way they are then people will think that you are condoning this kind of unnecessary nonsense.

 

Not being a d**k, obviously, also extends to everyone’s behaviour online, whether they are a teacher, a school leader or anything else, and not just their conduct whilst they’re actually physically at work. In educational circles, much of what seems to take place in the world of hashtags and gifs is akin to teachers who spend their days telling children not to argue in the playground all meeting on the virtual playground at the end of the day and having a massive argument with each other instead. Reasonable debate and criticism are not only healthy but also quite useful and important, particularly in the sense that new ideas can be formed, but hunting in packs so that ideologies can be protected and acting like d**ks is just not ok, Edutwitter. Recently, on the very same Twitter channel, a teacher asked other online educationalists to share ‘the worst thing that a ‘leader’ has ever said’ to them, citing firstly her own example that ‘I once got pulled in 2 days after my grandmother dropped dead suddenly (I had one day off to go down there & support my mum). I was told ‘we need to build your resilience’’. Some of the responses from other teachers really do paint quite a telling picture of the horrendous climate that many colleagues in schools currently have to contend with, where high-stakes accountability continues to dominate what goes on ahead of any sense of basic human decency. For example, one user wrote that ‘Had my ‘excessive’ sick record questioned – after being off for 3 months with a brain haemorrhage’, whereas another stated that ‘I was told that if I had another miscarriage the school would have to consider if they wanted to continue employing me’. I have, as stated earlier in this blog, also worked alongside some colleagues who would on occasions be inclined towards such statements, so it didn’t surprise me at all to read the awful comments posted on social media no matter how appalling or shocking they appear to be. The problem is that colleagues in schools exist in such a toxic environment, manufactured and promoted by educational leaders at a governmental level and consolidated by those in positions of authority in schools and many celebrated MATs, that they are encouraged to seek success at any cost, even if this means completely disregarding any sense of compassion and, essentially, acting like d**ks. I get the pressure of being a school leader, I’ve been one myself for over a decade now and I know that such is the damage that can be done to either a school or an individual leader’s career by a set of poor results or a difficult Ofsted inspection that even educational giants can end up acting like ethical infants in the pursuit of a fleeting sense of glory, but it can’t be right, not to mention healthy, that we are accepting this as a normal state of being. At the heart of any truly effective leader is a commitment to genuinely ethical behaviours – they can’t be turned on and off like a tap in order to impress or appease others – and an understanding that they really shouldn’t, ever, be a d**k.